Farewell, Storybrooke
by DivineMist
Summary: As guilt starts to slowly drown him, it's time for August to face his demons from the past.


**Summary: **It's time for him to face his demons from the past.

**Characters: **August, Emma, Henry

**Genre: **Angst, Family

**Rating: **K

**Notes: **AU after 'Manhattan.' Here be much angst, just a warning lovely's. Enjoy!

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**Farewell, Storybrooke**

_DivineMist_

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The steps were old and cracked, the paint peeling off the walls. Sun was filtering through the window to his left, shaded by the curtain. Light made patterns on the floor by his boots and he wanted to disappear into the shadows in the corner of the hallway, like dust bunnies collecting in the trimming.

Taking a deep breath, he exhaled once, twice, then placed a hand against the door. It was cold under his palm, but it grounded him, even though his other hand was shaking. Shaking and shaking and it just wouldn't stop. Trying to keep a hold on reality, he clenched it into a fist, and took another breath, repeating that he was fine over and over again in his mind.

Suddenly finding himself weak in the knees, he realizes he's really not. Panic bubbled up at the thought of telling her everything, spilling his guts to her. As the words tumbled from his lips, he would start to choke and everything would go downhill. Her faith and trust in him would crumble like his courage to even try and speak to her. He would fall like an avalanche, like an angel from heaven.

His status of 'Guardian Angel' was never the right way to put it. He was neither her guardian or angel, he had failed her more than once. Leaving her alone in the foster home, making Neal leave her so she could break the curse and fulfil her destiny. Leaving her in jail – pregnant, not that he knew that at the time – and travelling to Phunket. _Trying to loose himself, _as Neal once told him.

The guilt was still riddled in his bones, glued so hard that it couldn't be extracted. And he would be forever sorry that he had caused so much pain in her life. From the moment he had turned into a boy.

Even when trying to find her, he should have looked harder, longer. He shouldn't have given up after she went to jail. He should have saved the money and been there to greet her when she was out. He should have tried to help her keep Henry, he should have helped her reconnect with Neal. Instead of breaking promises he once vowed to keep.

There was _one _he kept, though it wasn't to her. He had sent Neal the postcard, in hope that he would show up in Storybrooke, so he and Emma could reconnect. After that he decided now was the time to revisit the other promise he made.

Which was why he was standing in front of her door, with an envelope resting in a pocket of his leather jacket. Shuffling his feet, he steeled his face and knocked.

His knuckles ached with sorrow as the sound echoed down the hall and into the apartment in front of him. He heard a voice yell, "I'll get it!" and fought the urge to run away, from the panic resting in his veins.

The door was wrenched open and a boy looking like a mix of the man and woman he tried to do right by, stood before him.

"August!" Henry cries out excited and he launches himself into his embrace.

Stumbling back, he wraps an arm around the kid and fights the burning in his eyes. He never wanted the kid to get hurt either. Henry should be just as mad at him, as Emma will be when he explains everything. He feels guilty just to be hugging the boy, when he had no right to.

After splitting up their family, he shouldn't have even showed his face again and just let them find each other, as they always do. Emma could have broke the curse without his help, without his interference. But he can't help but wonder what would have happened if Emma and Neal would have stayed together, what would have happened to the kid attached to his side.

The kid looks up and smiles at him and he can't help but smile back. Ruffling Henry's hair, he motions towards the entrance. Henry nods and drags him inside by the arm.

"Mom? Mom! Look who I found!"

He can hear footsteps on the stairs and freezes. Her voice echoing down.

"Henry, what are you-

Emma freezes and It feels like their meeting all those months ago. Her eyes are wide, and she crosses her arms. A sign of defence. He knows she's feeling venerable right now, by the way her face is filled with conflicted emotions. Anger, pain, frustration. But it's the ounce of longing that he just can't figure out.

He knows he should be talking, explaining, but he can't help but stare at her. How her hair is curling at the ends – longer than he remembered – how her nose is crinkled from the way her eyebrows are scrunched together. Her eyes are lit up, green orbs that are burning like candles. He admires the way she holds herself, how strong she is, even through all the pain and suffering. At the moment, he can see her shoulders shake, and he just wants to ease the sorrow that fills her gaze.

"Where were you?"

August brakes her gaze and looks down to Henry. The boy has his head tilted to the side, a wonder in his eyes. He opens his mouth to answer, but Emma interrupts.

"Yes, pray tell me. Where were you August?"

There's an underlining tone in her voice, and he's stuck in her piercing gaze. It feels like his throat is going to swell shut, but he manages to speak. Voice low and rough.

"I was...," he brakes off, gritting his teeth, "I was at the B&B, for a-a few weeks, frozen. I slowly came back, after the curse was broken, but I had to wait till I was, ah, completely human to leave town."

He sees the way Emma cringes at that part, but he doesn't deserve her pity.

"After that I went to New York, to try and find Neal. I knew him, from a while back. I found him ten years ago, told him that you were supposed to break the curse and that I knew he was Baelfire. I promised to send him a postcard to tell him when everything was over. So he could come find you. When he didn't, I tried to go find him.

It was my fault that he left you, Emma. I'm sorry...I'm sorry for everything. For the past 28 years I have been replaying the day I left you over and over in my head. The guilt has always been with me and I will never forgive myself. Neither should you to be honest. I just...I had no right to play 'god' over your life and I'm truly sorry for my actions."

He watches the way she lets her arms fall to her sides and the hollow look she shoots him. She begins to open her mouth, but stops herself. Henry glances between the two adults, shaking his head.

"Well, we already found my dad August. He was in New York and Rumpelstiltskin was trying to get him to forgive him. He didn't come back though. He stayed in New York."

"Wha- why? I thought he wanted to come back after the curse broke?" Glancing up at Emma, he continued, "He loved you."

She snorted, letting out a laugh. "Yeah, well he might love me, but I don't love him. He left me in jail. Sure, your methods might have been despicable, but in the end it was Neal's choice to leave. You just gave him the option."

August stared blankly at her, confused. "But, wait. He was your true love. And Henry's father, I thought he would want to be with you two. Considering the problems he had with his own father, I would think he would want to be with Henry."

Said boy piped up. "Oh, he still does! I get to visit every few months. Kinda strange though, cause I just met him. Plus this means I'm related to Rumpelstiltskin."

Emma continued her way down the stairs anger in her vision. "I may not like it, but I can't keep him from Neal. I may not like the guy, but I can't keep his son from him. Plus Henry seems excited to get to know him."

The anger fades from her face and she turns towards August. Though her voice is cold when she speaks.

"Now, since that's all cleared up, we still have some things to discuss, buddy-boy."

Guilt and fear begin to invade his senses again, as she raises an eyebrow at him. He sighs in defeat, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I'm guessing Neal told you about the money too. Well, that's the reason I'm here actually. Since you probably never want to see me against after all I did, I came to give a parting gift."

Reaching into his pocket, he reveals the envelope and motions for Emma to take it. She looks confused, but takes it from his grasp and slowly opens the envelope. Flipping open the pocket, she pulls out a check. A ten thousand dollar check. Her eyes widen to the size of saucers.

"August. What...what is this?"

"Back when you were sent to jail, Neal left me with ten grand to give to you. That's how I got to Phunket. Now I'm just trying to repay the money that wasn't rightfully mine in the first place."

"Whoa, that's the most money I've ever seen in my life!"

"Henry! Can you please leave us alone for a moment."

"But-

-No buts! Now go upstairs, I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Fine!"

Henry rolled his eyes at Emma, before making his way towards the stairs, shooting August a thumbs up behind her back. He exits, leaving the two adults alone.

"August. Pinocchio. How am I supposed to accept this? After everything, how am I supposed to accept this and forgive you?"

He knew this question was coming.

"That's just it, I don't want you to forgive me. I don't deserve forgiveness. I've failed you, my father and even Henry."

Her next words are softer. "Do you really believe that?"

August glances up at her, staring straight into her eyes. "Yes."

The words are hollow coming from his mouth. Mixed with a deep self-hatred and bitter anger. Her eyes hold pity, and he can see that part of her wants to forgive him. But he can't accept it. _Won't _accept it. The years of self loathing have left him empty, knowing he would never be worthy of her praise.

"I, I have to go. I'm sorry Emma, I'm just sorry. Say goodbye to Henry for me."

The urge to run is all that he can hear at the moment and he can't help but give in. Quickly spinning back towards the doorway he almost stumbles on the way out, but regains his balance and races down the stairs and out of the apartment building. Her yell of 'August, wait!' carries in the hallway, but he ignores it and keeps running.

August stopped only when his heart was almost pounding out of his chest and legs were weak. The only thing he had in his mind was leaving, running away. That's what he's always been best at. Besides lying.

He wouldn't be able to face his father, it would break the man's heart knowing what his son turned out to be. A failure, a liar, a cheat. It was impossible to find him, to try, he would end up running anyway. It was surprising enough that he lasted long enough to tell Emma he was sorry.

Walking the rest of the way to his bike, he hops on, pulling his helmet on. Tears start to burn his vision and he closes his eyes for a minute, leaning against the handlebars. With everything packed and tied on the back, he turns the engine on and drives down the street. Breaking the speed limit as he drives past the familiar sights. It leaves his heart in pieces to leave, but he can't stay without it being constantly broken either. At least this way he won't be able to see the sadness on their faces.

As the wind burns his cheeks, and the town border comes closer he takes a deep breath.

_Goodbye Father. Emma. Henry. Farewell, Storybrooke._


End file.
